she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
