just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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