Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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