yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
