So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
