we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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