You're completely useless in the revolution.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
