We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
