some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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