It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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