Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
