it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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