Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
