He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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