yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
