she looked like the bat from fern gully.
handjob tips. give me some.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
