i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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