fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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