people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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