My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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