You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
