The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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