Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
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Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
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Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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