sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
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when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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