whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
