is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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