and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
