Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
