do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
