I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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