Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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