I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
