this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
