You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
