4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
