i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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