So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize