i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Randomize
