In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize