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• (416): View more from Ontario

  i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  when are you leaving homes?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I had a sex dream about Oprah.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  go back to sleep

  (302): View more from Delaware

  dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  ...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.

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• (760): View more from California

  People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.

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• (646): View more from New York

  You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.

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