Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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