This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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