I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
