last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
