He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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