? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
