they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
