Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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