She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
