it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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