just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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