I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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