you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is wine microwaveable?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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