If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Randomize
