dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
