I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
