i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
