You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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