I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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