so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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