dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
