i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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